Hey. Sup @ u 

I like the fact you did not include a comma between ‘sup’ and ‘girl’. From here I would like to assume a few things about you: male, early 20’s, can be found wearing basketball jerseys at local bars on weekends, favorite word: bro. I do not know why, but you seem like the type of guy who would go to EDM shows with girls in nothing but a training bra and oversized furry boots that can be found at EDC or UMF. You probably go to those things, too. Do you scream “SUP, BRAH!?!!!” at cameras when you get your pictures taken?

Really, I am doing well. I am about to run my last errand of the day, but I must finish this tea I just made. I got hooked on peach tea while I was in Japan and man, it is quite phenomenal. Have you ever had it? You should try some - I would share my cup with you; however, I do not trust strangers. 

Speaking of doing well, I got a new wallet today. Like, an actual wallet that I haven’t had in about four years. I now feel like a legit 20-something year old female woman human being.

How are you? Doing pretty damn awesome, I assume. See, I would have replied back to you privately if you did not click on that anonymous button when I had it enabled about a week or two ago. But since you didn’t, every single person who follows and reads my page has to scroll through this dreading post in order to look at other things. How dare you to do this to my followers?

Ugh. This conversation is over. I need to text someone back. Bye.

PS. Call me.